BREAKING NEWS The Russian Army is retreating to Siberia. DNN acquired exclusive footage. DNN, Moscow, Sept. 10, 2023

BREAKING NEWS Donny Drumpf demanded even more weapons. “But only for white people.” he said and added: “Then start shooting black children.” DNN, Arkham Asylum, May 27, 2023

BREAKING NEWS A British MP resigned after NOT watching porn in parliament. The distraught Queen announced to share her favorite w@nk sites in order to resolve this national emergency. DNN, Lewdon, April 30, 2023

BREAKING NEWS For the first time in almost 200 years a day went by without a mass shooting in the USA. Shocked NRA and Republicans demand increased arms sales, especially to racist teenagers. DNN, Washington, May 15, 2023

BREAKING NEWS The U.S. seized Jeff Bezos’ mega yacht. „We need to crack down on all oligarchs!“ President Bernie Sanders said. DNN, Washington, May 01, 2025

BREAKING NEWS Empty Flask, the US oligarch, bought the online platform Shytter. “I’ll make it even shyttier. Promised!” he said. DNN, Arkham Asylum, April 25, 2023

BREAKING NEWS Right before his hospitalization Elon Musk challenged the Sun to a duel. The celestial body’s only reponse was a bewildered: „Who?“ DNN, Arkham Asylum, March 15, 2023

BREAKING NEWS The day after the Russian armed forces surrendered to Ukraine, Vladimir Putin formally requested NATO to denazify Russia. “We would do it ourselves,” he said. “But all our soldiers are captured or dead.” DNN, Moscow, February 24, 2023