Russians retreat to Siberia
BREAKING NEWS
The Russian Army is retreating to Siberia. DNN acquired exclusive footage.
DNN, Moscow, Sept. 10, 2023
Donny Drumpf is fine with dead children
BREAKING NEWS
Donny Drumpf demanded even more weapons. “But only for white people.” he said and added: “Then start shooting black children.”
DNN, Arkham Asylum, May 27, 2023
British MP resigns after NOT watching porn
BREAKING NEWS
A British MP resigned after NOT watching porn in parliament. The distraught Queen announced to share her favorite w@nk sites in order to resolve this national emergency.
DNN, Lewdon, April 30, 2023
Day goes by without a mass shooting in the U.S.
BREAKING NEWS
For the first time in almost 200 years a day went by without a mass shooting in the USA. Shocked NRA and Republicans demand increased arms sales, especially to racist teenagers.
DNN, Washington, May 15, 2023
U.S. seizes Bezos’ mega yacht
BREAKING NEWS
The U.S. seized Jeff Bezos’ mega yacht. „We need to crack down on all oligarchs!“ President Bernie Sanders said.
DNN, Washington, May 01, 2025
Empty Flask buys Shytter
BREAKING NEWS
Empty Flask, the US oligarch, bought the online platform Shytter. “I’ll make it even shyttier. Promised!” he said.
DNN, Arkham Asylum, April 25, 2023
Musk challenges the Sun to a duel
BREAKING NEWS
Right before his hospitalization Elon Musk challenged the Sun to a duel. The celestial body’s only reponse was a bewildered: „Who?“
DNN, Arkham Asylum, March 15, 2023
Putin asks NATO to denazify Russia
BREAKING NEWS
The day after the Russian armed forces surrendered to Ukraine, Vladimir Putin formally requested NATO to denazify Russia. “We would do it ourselves,” he said. “But all our soldiers are captured or dead.”
DNN, Moscow, February 24, 2023